Two Years with Alphonse
by Quixotic Cervantes
Summary: How did Al deal with losing three years of memories?


**Disclaimer: Sad to say, I don't own it.**

_asdf-thoughts_  
_"asdf"-past spoken_

* * *

Al knelt in front of his mother's grave. It had been three months. Three months since his brother was lost to the gate. He looked around the graveyard, hundreds of headstones holding memories for hundreds of families. Holding memories for his family. 

Al sighed; tomorrow he would go and ask Izumi to train him once again.

_Three years._

They told him he had spent three years in a suit of armor, his body having been lost in the botched attempt to bring his mother back to life.

_I'm…alone. _

He had never been alone before. He had always had his mother and brother. And when he lost his mother, his brother had been there every step of the way.

_But I still have Winry, and her grandmother is here…but they're not the same. And they tell me I made a lot of friends. But…I still can't remember them. _

Al thought about his dreams, dreams of faces he doesn't know but seem so familiar. He gazed towards the sky.

_Clouds...brother and I once wished we could fly with them. _

Al sighed and looked towards the ground.

_No use thinking about that._

He stood and, after one last weary look at the grave marker, walked away.

---

_This is no use! I barely made it with Brother, how am I supposed to do this alone?!_

Al gave his stick a frustrated toss, watching as it disappeared within the brush. He looked towards the sky and shouted.

"What's the point!? I already know that all is one and one is all! Why is she making me go through this again?!"

_I already know all this island can teach me, there's no use in making me stay here again._

_**Do I know everything?**_

_Of course I do. What other lessen could I learn that Brother didn't learn with me._

_**Did I learn to survive alone?**_

_I've…never had to. Is that what she wants me to learn? To be alone?_

Al stared around him, through the trees he could see the bright orange of sunset, the warmth of daylight quickly fading. Sighing, he went to retrieve his stick, the only one decent to start a fire.

Al sat shivering. The bright glow of the fire whose heat, enough to keep him from freezing, did nothing to warm him.

_Brother…why did you have to go? I can't do with this without you. How could you just leave me to face this?_

_**But he didn't have a choice. He wouldn't leave me unless there was no other way.**_

_But how would he have known it would work? They say he offered himself to give me back my body, how did he know I wouldn't remain an empty shell? _

_**He didn't he was taking a risk.**_

_A stupid risk, what if he's dead? _

_**He offered that for you.**_

_But he left me alone!_

_**If he hadn't made that choice wouldn't he have been left alone without you?**_

_No! At least he would have had his memories. I have nothing! Even if I do remember Winry, it's not the same!_

Al grabbed the lone blanket he had been allowed to bring with him and wrapped it around his body. He rested his head against his arm, and turned away from the light of the fire. Looking into the void of darkness he whispered softly before falling into an uneasy sleep.

"I'm alone."

---

"What have you learned, Alphonse?"

Al stood before Izumi, his already small body worn down from a month on the island. He turned hollow topaz eyes to his teacher.

"I'm alone."

He watched the older woman's grey eyes narrow.

"Is that all?"

Al lowered his eyes to the sand beneath his feet. He allowed his feet to shift slightly before defiantly looking back into her eyes.

"I'm the only one that will always be there for me. I can't rely on those around me," his voice began to break, "because they might not always be there."

He saw the woman, hardened from years of loss he knew nothing about, soften her gaze. She dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms around him.

"There will always be someone there for you, Little One. Just remember them and they'll be there for you."

---

Al looked down at the clothing before him. A black t-shirt, black pants and boots, white gloves, and a long red coat with the sign of his teacher were laid out on his bed. He turned to the doorway where Izumi and her husband stood.

"Teacher, what are these for?"

"Your brother wore an outfit similar to this one during your travels. You look so much like him I felt it was only fitting."

Al glanced to the mirror on the wall. _Do I really look like him?_ He wondered. He was taller now. His hair had grown longer, past his shoulders, so he now tied it up in back. His face had matured slightly, still looking boyish but showing a hint of the maturity he gained from his training. _I guess I do. _He looked back at Izumi, a smile growing on his face.

"Thank you, Teacher."

---

Al walked through the desert. It was hot and his clothing only added to the heat. He pulled his hood over his head, hoping to block the sun, and looked around. Nothing.

He sighed and hung his head.

"Just my luck, I picked the hottest month of the year to end up in a desert." Al looked down at the ground. "Well, what better time to practice some alchemy?" He placed his gloved hands to the sand, and focused on the transmutation.

A bright blue light formed in a circle before jutting from the ground. Al looked down the well he had made. A defeated look overcame his face. He sat down and leaned against the well.

"What I wouldn't give for some hydrogen and oxygen. I suppose I could use the air, but how am I supposed to transmute something that's just floating around!?"

He closed his eyes. A face began to form. He closed his eyes tighter, hoping the image wouldn't fade away. A man, short yet scruffy white hair, piercing red eyes, and tan skin with a pale X shape across his eyes.

"_Take your brother and get out of here!"_

"_I don't need your help!"_

"_Maybe not. But your younger brother needs you."_

He opened his eyes._Scar…I remember!_ Another night he was alone formed in his mind. He was outside; his brother had gone inside while he was to face the armor ahead of him. _Fur and a butcher knife?_

"_What if you're a fake? An imitation? How would you know the difference?"_

Al remembered that. It had haunted his dreams for two weeks. He had woken up in a cold sweat, shaking and terrified. He had cried the first night, wishing Ed were there to reassure him. After a week, he got sick, and had to stay in bed the whole day. In his restless sleep, he had a dream. This time a woman, his mother?, had been hitting his brother, he had been trying to help him, but he wasn't able to. He watched as the woman destroyed his brother. He woke screaming. Winry had come into the room and hugged him, whispering quiet words of encouragement. Soothing words that had lulled him back to sleep, the first good sleep he'd had since he was back.

Al opened his eyes and stood up. After brushing off all the sand, he began his travels once more.

---

Al stood before a grave once more. This time Izumi's, tears filled his eyes. He ran away, stopping only once he reached the edge of the lake. He looked across to the island that had been his home for two months. And he remembered her words. _Teacher, how can I not be alone if everyone I know keeps leaving me?_

He made his way to the island. He curled up on the shore and fell asleep.

---

Al felt a tremor coming from a nearby city. He rushed over to find the cause of the disturbance. He was shocked to see an army of suits of armor roaming through the city. He quickly broke his soul, _Another memory to gain back_. He wanted to help those people first. As the armor fought he spoke to a girl and a large man, _Rose and Lt. Armstrong_, he remembered them vaguely but had no real memories.

He watched the armor fight and felt the need to be close to them. Rushing over he joined in.

When the portal opened he felt it, _Brother_. He ran towards the light, desperately wanting to follow them through. He was pulled back by the girl, Rose. He sent a piece of his soul to a piece of armor, praying it would reach his brother.

As he slept that night, he dreamt he was talking to his brother on a hill. He wished he could have really been there, been with his brother again. He pulled his knees up and rested his arms and chin on them. He looked out his window at the sunrise.

The reds and oranges were shining in away that made it seem golden. As the sun continued rise the golden hue disappeared. He sighed, the day had begun. He climbed out of his bed and looked at his clothes, _Izumi said they're like his._

He looked out his window one more, a flash from his dream came to mind. _One day brother, we'll be together again. _

* * *

**Well, I hope you enjoyed it! When I was trying to think of a good ending the Outsiders came to mind, so I guess I should say I don't own that too. **


End file.
